


In Which Celegorm Overhears Late Night Conversations

by FactorialRabbits



Series: In Which The House Of Finwë Are A Modern Mess [1]
Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Child POV, Family, Feanor is trying to be a good parent, Gen, How Feanor and Nerdanel achieved seven children, Hurt/Comfort, Modern AU, Nightmares, So is Nerdanel, Swearing, frank but indirect discussion of voluentary sterilization, the house of finwe is a mess but mostly loving AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-20
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-08-03 16:56:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16329965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FactorialRabbits/pseuds/FactorialRabbits
Summary: Celegorm goes looking for comfort late at night, and finds something else entirely. At least his big brothers are there for him.





	In Which Celegorm Overhears Late Night Conversations

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, this is not Lines. Yes, I am working on that and the next chapter is, like, 1/3 of the way done. No, this is not technically a new thing - I've had this on my hard-drive waiting for proof reading since before I had an AO3 account, so posting it doesn't count as breaking my no-new-stuff-until-Lines-done rule. Yes, this is very weird, and I cannot decide if I like it or not, but it seemed the best way to prove I'm not dead. Just really, really ill.
> 
> This is the earliest fic I've written in this AU, with Maedhros being about 9, Maglor 7, Celegorm 5, Caranthir 3, Curufin 2 and Nerdanel pregnant with the twins, though if I ever decide to come back to it beyond what is already written there is some planned earlier.
> 
> Bad childhood nickname list is in the endnotes. And, no, Nerdanel would never have said the things she said here if she knew Celegorm was in hearing range. She'd have discussed it with him when he was a bit older and able to actually understand what she was saying. With far less swearing.

It was late, at least by the standards of the 5 year old Celegorm. However, he had had the most terrible dream - witches had broken into the house, and Daddy had rescued him and his brothers, but Mummy had been captured and killed! All because of the silly babies growing inside her making her movement too slow to be able to run. He knew she was dead - Daddy had taken them deep into a forest, then shown them a golden ring in his hand. He wasn't sure what the ring was for, but he did know that Mummy would never take it off. Not until the day she died. So of course that meant she was dead. Then the witches had started howling, and they'd had to run again.

Now, he knew this was just a dream. But the wind howled outside his window, and he shuddered under his duvet. The sound of cats fighting in the street outside was finally what caused him to flee, bolting towards his parent's room. If he just got there, he would see mummy and she would be fine and then he'd know for sure it was all a dream!

He likes to think it was logic that drove him towards his parent's room, but it was closer to a fleeing of terror. Outside their door he stopped - they were talking.

"Naro. Please," Mummy sounded tired. And Naro - that's what she called Daddy sometimes. "We've tried everything. After these two… Either its gone, or we're not having sex ever again. And I'm not inclined to take the second option; I enjoy our time together."

"It was just a fluke. I'll support you of course, but don't feel you have do anything, to my love."

Mummy gave a laugh, but it sounded wrong, "A fluke? It was a fluke when the condom split and we got Celegorm. It was a fluke when something interfered with the hormone pills and we got Curufin. It was a fluke when the IUD failed and we got Caranthir. And now I'm pregnant with twins despite trying everything. Kids were your fucking idea, and I agreed to 2 of them. I never agreed to the rest."

Celegorm didn't wait to hear the rest of the reply - his Mummy didn't want him, didn't love him, and Daddy didn't care enough to correct her. He was a "fluke", a mistake, and she'd even said one of the bad words about children! He turned and fled, careful to be quiet. Mummy didn't need him causing more trouble; so long as he was good, they might let him stay… You got rid of mistakes, but maybe if he was a well behaved one they would forget about it.

And Curufin and Caranthir! They were mistakes too! He couldn't let them know - they'd be sad. So long as he proved he was a good mistake, maybe they'd give the others a free pass? Or maybe he should take them and run away, save them from Mummy who didn't want them.

Too caught up in his distress, he didn't notice the bathroom door opening. But he did notice the bleary eyed form in the light. He ran forward, and latched himself around the other.

"Maggy! Maggy!" he yelled as much as one can yell while whispering.

Maglor, his 7 year old brother squinted at him, "Celegorm? It's late. Go ask Mum."

"But Mummy…" at which point Celegorm burst into tears.

Maglor flapped his hands for a few moments, before awkwardly hugging his brother. They stayed like that for a few moments, before Maglor pulled away and tried to make eye contact, trying to act like Mummy, "Let's go see Mye. He knows how to make everything better, right?"

Celegorm reached forward again, nodding as he burrowed his face in Maglor's shoulder. With much difficulty, Maglor managed to maneuver them both to Maedhros' door and knock. It was a few moments before their brother answered, blanket draped over his head and hair in a tangled mess. The noise he made had about the correct number of syllables to be their names, although completely comprised of slurred grunts. After a few moments he processed Maglor's terrified expression and Celegorm's near-hysterical sobbing. Blinking rapidly he shook his head, and gestured for them to come in and sit down.

The door slammed shut behind them.

Maedhros took a long drink from the cup on his bedside table, blinked, then looked at his two eldest brothers, "whatzit?"

When Celegorm didn't reply, he turned to Maglor and raised an eyebrow.

Maglor hesitated, "I was refilling my glass, and CG was running away from Dad's room. He called me, I told him to go see Mum, then he mentioned her and burst into tears?"

"She said she didn't want me!!!" Celegorm wailed.

With those words, Maedhros immediately threw a hug around the younger brother. Celegorm's face was pressed against his chest, and he heard Maglor whisper something. Not that he really understood it.

"She said I was a mistake! That she only ever wanted you two!"

"What about dad?" Maedhros asked, sleep chased away by his brother's words.

"We want you," Maglor threaded his hands through Celegorm's hair.

"Daddy didn't stop her! And he say he-he susported her!" Celegorm sniffed. "She said she didn't want Curufin or Caranthir, too! Or the babies! What if she hurts them? What if she hurts Curufin? He's too small to look after himself..."

"Mummy won't do that," Maedhros reassured. Celegorm wasn’t certain about that - he would have thought she’d always wanted him. But evidently not.

"They're so little, if she wanted to hurt them, she'd have done it already." Maglor followed up, his fingers twisting to braid the stubby lengths of Celegorm’s hair.

That made sense. Mummy had sounded far too tired to get rid of them tonight, anyway. Celegorm nodded, temporarily reassured, dried his eyes, remembered why he had gone to his parents room, and burst into tears again, "the witches ate Mummy!"

"What?"

"The witches ate Mummy and the new babies, so I went to check on her, but then I heard her say she didn't want me… Daddy rescued us, but didn't have time to go back for her. What if the witches come back and Daddy still can't save us all?"

"… How about all three of us stay here tonight; Maglor and I will look after you, and if the witches do come back then Curufin and Caranthir are just next door, so Daddy will have be able to rescue us quicker and have time to go back for Mummy? And if either of them decide to get rid of the little ones, we'll hear and can stop them."

Celegorm was still crying, but agreed to the plan. It sounded like it made sense. And Maedhros was 9 years old. Of course he knew what to do when the witches attacked. He'd probably lived through a bizillion such attacks already. Maglor patted his head in a rather awkward gesture, and pushed everyone towards the bed.

It was a struggle to fit all three of them on the small mattress, but they managed it. Sure, Maglor was very precariously balanced and Celegorm's elbow was stuck into Maedhros' spine, but nobody was falling off. With Maglor on one side and Maedhros on the other, it was almost nearly like sleeping between his parents...

Eventually, Celegorm managed to fall asleep. No more witches troubled his dreams that night.

* * *

Morning did not wake the three brothers. Nerdanel has already taken Curufin and Caranthir downstairs, and they were playing in the kitchen whilst she prepared breakfast for the Fëanorian Horde. Fëanor himself had gone looking for his three eldest when none of them came for breakfast; terror had built up when he had found Maglor's room, positioned at the top of the stairs, empty. Things got worse when Celegorm's, another down, was also unoccupied.

On the verge of calling his wife, he ran to Maedhros' room, at the furthest point from the stairs possible, and threw open the door. The sight before him caused his panicking heart to relax, and he melted down the door frame slightly. Maedhros and Celegorm were curled up on the bed, the elder wrapped protectively around the other, covers lost somewhere. A stray leg was wrapped around Maedhros' ankle, and over Celegorm's legs. Repositioning slightly, he found it to belong to his last missing son, who had managed to end up hanging from the bed onto the floor, tied up in the missing duvet. Evidently it had softened his fall enough that he didn't wake up. Still, it looked uncomfortable.

He watched the three for a few moments, calming his panic, before making his way to the window and ripping open the curtains.

"Daaaaaaaaaaad," Maglor was the first to respond, whining and throwing an arm over his eyes. Or at least he tried to; when his arm would not move the whole way, he settled for confused glaring at the duvet.

Fëanor moved to assist his second eldest untangle himself as Maedhros and Celegorm woke up more slowly. He wondered what they were all doing in Maedhros' room, but did not question; his sons would tell him if it was important.

Indeed, a moment later Maedhros spoke up, "Dad, do you love Celegorm?"

Fëanor was horrified to hear the question come from his eldest's mouth, or more so the implications of it. He took a moment to regain control of his facial features, "Of course I love Celegorm! I love all of you! All of you are my precious and wonderful sons."

"What about Caranthir? And Curufin?"

"I-I, yes. Yes, I love Caranthir and Curufin, and Celegorm, and you and Maglor too. Where on earth is this coming from?"

"…Mummy said last night she didn't want me," Celegorm whispered. He was terrified - that much was evident from how he shivered into Maedhros' arms. A moment's thought, and Fëanor knew what had happened. Of course, it was just their luck that Celegorm would have overheard...

"Celegorm…" Fëanor knelt down, positioning himself on a level with his children. "Did you hear mummy and I talking last night?"

Celegorm nodded, knuckles white on Maedhros' arm. Maglor was now standing, attempting to look threatening towards his father. The effect was lessened by bed-head. Fëanor suppressed pride at how his sons were defending each other to process later; he was too busy being horrified at why they felt the need to.

"My fairest little one," Fëanor reached for Celegorm, but remained at a distance where the child could choose if he wanted a hug. "What your Mummy meant is that she planned for two children. The rest of you are just wonderful surprises!"

None of the children seemed convinced. Maedhros was still hugging Celegorm, whilst Maglor tapped his foot and pouted 'threateningly'.

"It's a bit like Christmas," he desperately tried to think of an analogy which the children would understand. "Mummy and I asked for two babies - and we got two babies. But then there were more presents we didn't ask for, but are still wonderful! Just because we didn't ask for them doesn't mean we don't love them; like how you didn't ask for scooters last Christmas, and yet I haven't seen you go to the park by any other means since."

That seemed to reassure them a bit more. Hesitantly Celegorm let go of Maedhros, and instead hugged his Daddy. Fëanor gave him a small kiss on the head, and rocked him gently. Maglor looked to Maedhros with a question in his eyes, joining in the hug pile as the elder also did so. After a few minutes, he realised Nerdanel was probably expecting them downstairs.

"Why don't we go ask Mummy about it? If we're quick, she might feel bad enough she makes croissants instead of toast for breakfast," Fëanor winked conspiratorially. The three boys rapidly agreed.

Exactly as he had expected, Nerdanel was horrified to hear what Celegorm had heard, and spent the next few hours trying to make amends. Later, having checked for little ears this time, the two had a serious conversation about checking who was listening, unexpected consequences, and contraception. It was agreed upon that, when they were a little older, the two of them would have a serious conversation with their younger children about the unplanned nature of their births. But, for now at least, Celegorm seemed content just to know that he and all his brothers were still loved.

**Author's Note:**

> Childhood nicknames/corruptions for this AU which will get less used as the kids get older, accounting for childhood terrible pronunciation and later used because its good for manipulating people:
> 
> Maedhros - Myefoss; Myeff
> 
> Maglor - Maggy
> 
> Celegorm - Cell; CG
> 
> Caranthir - Teer
> 
> Curufin - Roo
> 
> Amras - Ra
> 
> Amrod - Ammy


End file.
